STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
