he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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