i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
