Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
