every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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