he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
