Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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