You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
