allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
