I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
