Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
