How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
