I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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