Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
