I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
