id be glad to
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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