Fine. I'll sleep in my office
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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