OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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