Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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