Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
