Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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