just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
