it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
