I CAN MOONWALK!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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