I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
