Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
