I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm going to jail i love you
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
