i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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