my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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