do herpes really smell.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
