Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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