Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
