I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
