Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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