We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
