I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Success! We fucked roommates!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
