i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
God, I missed his penis.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
