Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
