She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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