This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
