You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
