Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
