Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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