And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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