your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
