i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
