How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
