there was a trapeze. enough said
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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