I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
