I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
