It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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