Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we're making bets on your personal life
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
