No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
