Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
