Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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