my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
