Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
