We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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