Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
